Two Under Two: Motherhood Advice from My BFFs (Part 1)

Two under two . . .

I’ve learned a lot this year, especially when it comes to caring for two under two. Life hasn’t been a cake walk, but there have been some really sweet moments (like snapping these pictures!). Thankfully, I’ve received some really great advice from friends and family along the way. As they say, it takes a village. And, now more than ever, I’ve found that to be true.

Last month, I shared some words about motherhood + advice I got from my mom. It’s a topic that’s been on my mind since we brought baby Violet home. I want to be the best mother I can be to BOTH of my little ones. I know it’s a process, and I’m so excited to keep trying, learning and growing. Each day brings it’s own set of challenges–this job is never ending. Here’s how my BFFs tackle their day-to-day as rockstar mamas: 

Advice from my BFFs

Christie and Kayla are two of my very best friends (who also happen to have two babies under two years old).  We met in college when I randomly moved into their apartment. I couldn’t have asked for better roommates, let alone lifelong friends. They’ve been my cheerleaders and support system through some of my hardest seasons of growth. I feel so lucky to have them as mama friends–they always give the best advice.

Christie Nielsen

Mama to Jonas and Sonny
Follow @mana_carpe on Instagram

“Unless you are the luckiest mom on the planet, you’re not going to get enough sleep. It’s just how it is. The best thing you can do for yourself in this regard is to decide to be happy and have energy anyway. Make the decision the night before and stick to it. Easier done than said. Not a typo . . . you can make plans all you want to get to bed early, to keep your kids on a perfect schedule and to cross every item off your list . . . but it’s not going to happen. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told my husband I’m going to be in bed by 10pm, and guess how many times that’s happened? Ha! Just make the decision to be happy, even if you feel like a zombie. Be a happy zombie. 

Have a game plan set with your spouse on how you want to discipline/teach your toddler BEFORE they start acting out. It’s so important to be on the same page and consistent. I remember the first time Jonas threw a temper tantrum, and my husband and I just sat there and stared at him until he was done. We had no idea what to do. We quickly figured out how we wanted to handle those situations. Now, when he throws tantrums we still stare, but at least we’re a bit more prepared. Side note: I just recently read Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, and I really like the parenting methods it teaches. Definitely recommend. 

Wear your 2nd baby A LOT! (Ergo, Solly baby wrap, etc.) Get them used to it early on. This helped me so much with grocery trips, outings and even making dinner. You only have so many hands and with another little one under two, believe me . . . you’re going to need both hands. 

Take care of you. My best advice on how to do this would be to find some time in your day to do something YOU want to do. This is really hard for a lot of women because we may feel selfish taking precious time out of our day to do something for ourselves. I’ve realized that I’m actually being selfish when I DON’T do this. I want to be my best self for my spouse and my kids, and I can’t do that if I don’t take the time to recharge. 

Put the phone down, and ENJOY watching your two sweet babes become best friends. Instagram can wait for when you’re taking your 30 second bathroom break or during naps. This time while our babies are tiny is precious and we can’t waste any minute of it!”

Kayla Bills

Mama to Olivia and Ryan
Read Life After Sundance (blog) + Follow @kaylabills on Instagram

“My daughter and and son are 16-months apart. When my second was born, life was so crazy and hard! There were definitely a few things that helped me get through the chaos of it all though, so here’s what helped me:

Get outside every day. Even if it’s just for a short time, it feels so nice to get out of the house. After I had Ryan, we went for a walk to the park every day. It was good for me and good for my daughter Olivia who needed to burn off her energy!

Exercise (when you feel up for it again)! When Ryan was 4 months old, I joined a gym near my house that has amazing day care. It was a win-win for the kids and me because they got to play with new toys/friends, and I had almost an hour to exercise/have some time to myself. It saved us in the winter months!

Take a social media break. In the newborn phase, nursing can take so long! At least it did for me. I made the mistake of going on social media too much during feeding times that first week, and it just left me feeling anxious that I couldn’t get out of the house as easily as I used to. I decided to not go on social media for a few months and to listen to audiobooks/podcasts during some feedings instead. That left me in a way better, positive mood! (I loved listening to Shoe Dog, Big Magic, & Bringing Up Bebe if you’re looking for some good books.)

Buy some new toys for your older child to play with during nursing times. When I was sitting on the couch nursing Ryan, I felt so bad that I couldn’t get up and play with Olivia. So, I brought out new toys for her to play with during feeding times (things like a baby & stroller, magnetic drawing board, little animal toys, etc). I also baby proofed the room completely so she could roam around and not get hurt while I was nursing.

Energy! I always felt tired during those first few months of having a second baby, and found these two things really helped me get back some energy: First, go to bed when the kids go to bed, even if it’s early! I know it’s tempting to stay up watching shows, cleaning the house, etc, but just go to bed. No amount of caffeine can replace a good night of sleep! I’m always glad the nights I get in bed early. Second, make a good breakfast. I started making eggs for breakfast each morning, and it gives me more energy than if I just have a bowl of sugary cereal.

Find some babysitters you love! When Ryan was 6 months old, I went on Care.Com and found a few babysitters so that my husband and I could start having a weekly date night. I trained all the babysitters by having them come over (one at a time) for two hours while I was home and walked them through our bedtime routine. They could ask questions, meet the kids with me there, and learn where everything was. Once I trained them, it was so nice to be able to leave and totally trust the people who were watching our kids! Also, the weekly date night has been so nice for my husband and I, as we get to have time together and go out with friends.

Have a mom group you can get together with. My mom friends have been my life savers. We ask each other baby questions, do park meets up and play dates, girls nights out, and vent about how crazy this all is. It helps to have friends that are raising young babies too and in the same boat as you.

Lastly, realize that it’s going to be hard now and that’s okay! This time won’t last forever and you’re trying your best. It was so hard for me–but everyone tells me that I’ll be so glad in a few years when they play together. The best present you can give your child is a sibling, right? So it will all be worth it! This time will go by faster than you think.”

PSST! DON’T FORGET TO PIN THESE TIPS IT FOR LATER.

Are you a mama with two under two? What’s your best piece of advice?

black and white pictures by Gentri Lee